At the beginning of this month one of the worst fears of a massage therapist came true for me. I had an accident and broke my wrist. I wish it was some epic tale that I could boast about, like saving a kitten from a house fire or battling some scrupulous looking character downtown. Sadly however, my tale of woe began with me simply taking the trash out and succumbing to a flight of icy stairs.

This whole ordeal is a continuing learning experience for me. A healing process that has forced me into some uncomfortable places of vulnerability and surrender. More specifically, although I do take care of myself on many levels, I’m used to being the caretaker/healer. When that’s on hold, it really highlights some cracks in the foundation, and leaves space for contemplation and reflection which brings up both the good and the ugly within. And so The School of Life has been handing me some hard homework to contend with, and frankly I don’t like it. Yet growth, learning and healing often come hand-in-hand (ha-ha pun intended), and this is what I’ve discovered so far.
 
1.Idleness is so difficult. Normally I’m constantly doing something. If I'm not reading, researching, or writing, taking classes and workshops, teaching classes and workshops, working with clients, taking care of family, cooking, cleaning, chorus etc., I get uncomfortable. I keep doing this even when I’m at my limit, but if I’m going to be honest, it’s to avoid feeling my emotions. There’s a certain level of programming from childhood that, if I’m not doing something, I’m not good enough. I must be productive; I must push myself. Our capitalistic society doesn’t help this narrative either. Ironically, I broke my wrist just about the same time we all went into shut-down with the pandemic 3 years ago. There’s been eerie similarities to both experiences, where I’m kind of stuck in place, can’t work, not sure what do, having to navigate governmental agencies for income (I filed for short-term disability insurance and that’s a whole other story), and then suddenly having all the time in the world, but in freeze-mode and not really being able to get things done. It’s a weird polarity to be in.
 
2.I’m tired, like really tired.  When you’re on the go so much you never realize how tired you are. There are different levels to being tired too. We can be tired, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and are often a combination of these. While I know my body is in healing mode, I’ve been sleeping a lot. There have been days I would get up to do a few things, and then nap for a few hours, and you know what I felt? Not restfulness, just guilt. Guilt again that I’m not being productive, or lazy because I’m sleeping while others are working. I had to compassionately challenge this guilt to find the root of its claims. What I realized is, I felt I didn’t deserve the rest, that it wasn’t something afforded to me, even though I preach it all the time to my clients. That somehow, I’m the laziest person. Funny though, as you just read, I struggle with the stillness. Not only was I healing from the physical injury with some intense pain, I was also working to process the trauma of the event, and all the other stresses of my life. I work hard in therapy to help heal myself, work hard at my job, friends/family relationships, and other obligations. There is so much going on underneath the surface, that the need for rest came fast and furious. In some ways I’m grateful for the break, maybe not the bone break, but the pause in motion. I will continue to strive to find a better balance in this for myself, but in the meantime, I’m learning the subtle art of the nap, and compassionately allowing it as best I can.
 
3.Accepting help is so cringeworthy. From the moment the accident happened, I went into survival mode. I organized what I needed to do, who I needed to contact, and how I was going to move forward, all into a neat plan, all on my own. Well, this plan had some major flaws, even though I was quite certain it was fool-proof. Planning life, however, is one of the funny fallacies that we keep on perpetually thinking we are in control of and, especially if you’re American, doing it all on your own. With the wise words of my therapist ringing in my ears, “We never heal on our own, we aren’t meant too, otherwise you would have done it already,” I had to surrender to the fact, that I needed help, though the process of asking, let alone accepting help, is so messy for me. Asking for help feels like I failed at something, and in the past, I was often shamed for asking for support or guidance. I was told in few words, “figure it out on your own.” So, I’ve learned to trust only asking certain individuals for help, but I need to get comfortable asking a larger circle. When people have reached out and offered financial support, groceries, food prep, laundry, I didn’t know what to do with it. I quickly told people I’m okay, which was partly true, but as the weeks went on, that okay became not so okay. Why would these people want to support me? I can’t possibly take from them, I’ll feel indebted. The bigger issue was, I didn’t want people to think I failed at being an adult, that I was some type of screw-up. Boy-oh-boy, the stories in our head can really play a number on us. These lovely people wouldn’t offer if they couldn’t or didn’t want to, yet I felt so small and stupid until a good friend pointed out that I am neither. While he helped me realize that my thoughts were overrun with emotion, he also pointed out that, if the tables were turned, I would be just as generous, supportive, and helpful, as I very often am. Sitting with this feeling, I struck gold in a larger spiritual sense. “I have a hard time receiving.” Money, compliments, accolades, they all feel prideful or even dirty, that somehow, I don’t deserve them, I don’t deserve any help. I need to earn them instead of deserving them simply because I exist.  I began to reflect on my own journey, manifesting the life that I want, and how there must be an exchange for the universe to support us in attaining our desires. You must receive, to give, otherwise you’re missing the point.
 
I’m still healing my wrist, and it will take a little more time before I’m back seeing clients. I’m doing my best to reframe a lot of this down-time, and I hope that my sharing can be a gentle reminder that even healers need help, and that we are all just doing the very best we can navigate this crazy experience we call life.
 
 
 

Knock, Knock!

Is it safe to come out now? Has enough time passed from the intense holiday season, and the dreaded New Year resolution marketing campaigns to safely emerge once again? I sure hope so. I know it seems a bit silly to be writing a post about New Year’s Resolutions now that we are at the end of January, but if you’re anything like me, they just don’t stick.
 
Not only do my previous year’s resolutions not stick, but I’m also growing tired of the constant marketing that capitalizes on our drive or need to "be better,” or "do better," and the thousands of answers that will get you there if you were to only buy a $1000 dollar program guarantee. Not that all of these programs or solutions are bad or unhelpful, but believe me I’ve been there, lost more than money, and as a result, gained feelings of shame and guilt that I wasn’t doing more and succeeding. For example, while not really a resolution, I intended exercising more, and I’m already behind about 15 workouts this month.  Shhhh, don’t tell anyone! I already feel bad about this, but then there are the chocolate brownies and it's winter so ...
 
I’m also tired. I think the collective stress of the past few years, as well as my own personal stuff, has caught up with me. Add to that a dreary rainy winter here in Connecticut, and it’s not left much space for motivation and desire. According to the dictionary, resolutions are defined as: “a firm decision to do, or not to do something.” I really like this verbiage. Often, we all think of things that we need to add into our lives or obtain as our resolution, instead of thinking, what can I get rid of, let go of, or no longer do? With that, I’ve decided I’m giving up on the social pressure to change, to conform and to follow the hive mind mentality.  Instead, I'm going to work on removing the shame and guilt I have allowed others to place upon me, the self-inflicted kind too. But where did that leave me in terms of resolutions? I had to take time to really reflect how I approached this concept, still tapping into the energy of the New Year, yet not being swallowed whole and losing myself in the process. I started to think about what worked, and what didn’t work, in my life last year.  As a result, I came up with a list of things that culminated in just one simple resolution, which is “take care of me."

The following are some thoughts about how I’m trying to do just that:

1.     I am introvert, so I naturally lean towards quiet spaces and solitude time. We've had plenty of practice with this during the pandemic, but even for me, it’s getting a bit old. I’ve had to continue to negotiate with myself what feels safe to do and how I can get back out into the world to enjoy its splendors, yet not sacrifice my need for quiet either. This led me to saying "yes" and "no” more often. Saying "yes" to things that scare me, that push me out of my comfort zone. Saying “yes” to pleasure, socialization and joy. While saying “no” to obligations, experiences, or people that throw me out of alignment with what feels right for myself.

2.     Drinking more water. Another one that might sound silly, but I’m severely dehydrated, and my physical and emotional well-being depends on proper hydration. Starting my day with a large glass of water at room temperature and increasing my intake throughout the day, might have made me frequent the bathroom more often, but the brain-fog of the past year is at least starting to fade as I continue to nourish my body with this vital substance. 

3.     Eating well and cooking, as the price of food continues to skyrocket. Cooking at home can be a real act of devotion to yourself, as well as a saving grace for your wallet. For me, cooking is a stress relief, a creative time that brings me great joy. I can, however, get stuck in a rut and feel a bit blasé around my food. To remedy this, I’ve decided to unpack the hundreds of food reels I've saved on my Instagram and work to make one new recipe a week.

4.     Speaking of Instagram and social media. I’m a doom-scroller. I wake up, and I check my phone. I’m bored, and I check my phone, I’m waiting on an order, I check my phone. I’m tired, I check my phone. I think you get the drift. I spend way too much time looking at ads, at perceived successes and the “living my best life” posts from influencers and friends that just put me in a depressive state. I know the matrix of the social media world is not real, but it can be very convincing. It’s a world that I do wish to engage in, but not let it consume my life. Luckily, I found a neat function on my iPhone (sorry Android users, I’m sure you have something similar, but I’m an Apple kind of guy), where you can set time limits for your apps.

https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/set-up-screen-time-for-yourself-iphbfa595995/ios

​I have my social media limited to 1 hour a day. It helps me stay focused and find what I need quicker and avoid the scrolling. It gives you a warning message that you're approaching the last 5 minutes of your allotted time and once your time is up, you get the option of leaving the app, adding 5 more minutes, or ignoring the time limit for the day. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve totally hit that last button more times than I like to admit, but this function has helped me reduce the time I spend on social media significantly, and my mental health is much better for it too.

For me, these are all simple and attainable things, and I will continue to do them to help take care of me. They feel less intimidating, and less guilt-ridden if I don’t follow suit. Yet being able to follow these more, helps with my larger goals and motivations, and I hope it can inspire, lead or direct you to creating some little wins for yourself. 

Hello Everyone! 

How are you all? I hope you've been doing as best you can. Me? Well, it's been an interesting few months. There's lots of internal work coming up for me to explore, and I'm gearing up for the fall season. Which after the crazy heat waves we had I'm more than ready for the cooler weather.

So I've been stuck. Have you ever gotten that way? Feel like you have no place to turn, shift, or move through? This "stuck" feeling hit me on many levels. My creativity, energy levels, mental/emotional wellbeing, and of course my physical body. 

As a bodyworker, part of my job is to help my clients come home to their bodies safely. Helping to bring awareness to where they are holding discomfort or pain, emotions, and stress. We are all so good at numbing out and that also includes me. 

I think for the past two months I have progressively numbed out and my body certainly has taken the brunt of this. I kind of fell into a well of disappear and tightness. This translates directly to my body as well. My back went out. My stomach inflamed. Old injuries arose, and frankly, I felt awful. 

That was until a good friend reminded me of a saying."Movement is Medicine."  While there is some poetic irony behind a holistic health provider who doesn't really like exercise that's where I am. The idea of exercise terrifies me. It feels like more work, more pain, and more aggravation. This is my process to work through but this mentality has kept me in the stuck phase. 

As we don't heal alone, I decided to buck up, reach out for help, and went to see my Pilates trainer with my tail between my legs, "it's been a hot minute since I've seen her for a session".
She was just as compassionate and non-judgemental as ever guiding me back into my body and helping to fix some postural issues I was dealing with. I'll tell you for the most part I didn't enjoy it. My body hurt, felt awkward, disconnected, and worthless. These feelings I know were also stemming from a deeper space inside. I stuck with the session and trusted my trainer and the process. 

Do you know what happened next? I felt better. The session ended and I felt more in myself than I had in a long time. My body didn't ache, some crinks were ironed out, and my mood shifted. I released sometimes the answer to the feeling stuck is to actually move. Walk, workout, dance, sing. All things that make movement in the body. It doesn't have to be fancy or look like you're sitting under a guillotine-like I did in the picture above, "don't worry it's just Pilates equipment."

Sometimes we have to address the physical body to engage the rest of our being. So I'm not saying I've fallen in love with exercise, but I think I might be starting to fall in love with my body again. 

I hope you can find this helpful. 

            For those of us who have the gift of empathy, the power to feel deeply can be a real struggle. Having degrees of empathic abilities often aids us and enhances the work we do in the world, but it can also take a toll on our own emotions and energy levels. Some of the best teachers, doctors, healers, coaches and managers all possess empathic qualities. Being empathic helps us to feel deeply and allows us to relate to other people and situations at an enhanced intuitive level. Many people are shocked by our capacity to feel and care, especially in this time of chaos in the world.
 
            Even those who aren’t as sensitive to energy and emotions have been commenting on the energy of the world lately. Our media outlets are swarming with political banter and crises in other countries. Many of us have to turn to watching videos of puppies and someone’s latest food creation to get any sort of reprieve from what’s dominating our online presence. The discord, conflict and sense of hate and fear have become quite palpable over the last year, and I have struggled to disconnect from this storm of crazy. My own anxiety levels and panic attacks have spiked, and many of my friends and colleagues have been feeling the shifts in energy changes, and the effects to their individual selves  as well.
 
All of this chaos can make us want to shut down, withdraw and stay hidden. For me, when watching the news, debating with friends, or witnessing transitions and transformations not only in my personal life, but in the world, it can all be extremely overwhelming. So, how do we keep on feeling in a chaotic world? There is no easy answer, but empathy isn’t a course, it’s a skill. Many of us need learn more about it so that we are in control of our emotions.
 
We must remember, we are not the emotions we feel. Our emotions do create our thoughts and our reality, but it’s important to have a healthily understanding of what is yours and what is not. Although we may feel the weight of the world and the energies from others, they are not generated by us and we do not have to digest or process what is not ours. Knowing our emotional boundaries first is key to navigating chaos.
 
When we are feeling the magnitude of the world, there may be a overwhelming sense of hopelessness or helplessness. We may ask ourselves, “What am I to do?” or “How do I effect change to help?” It’s important to remember that we are not all meant to create large change, go out and lobby, become a public figure, picket at the forefront. For some of us, our best work and most change can occur behind the lines in small, sometimes unseen ways.
 
Focusing on our own gifts and talents gives us the outlet we need to feel like we can do something about our emotions.  My strength is working with small groups and individuals in my practice. I focus on helping support the individuals that come to me by helping them each take steps to reach their greater potential and by nurturing their flame of passion to go out into the world and inspire others. This is where I can help. I can help support clients and friends in pain. I know that focusing on the local and the ripple effects that move out into the world is how I can manage my own emotions and do my part to change. You need to consider your own strengths and what works for you as an individual.
 
To manage the chaos that sometimes comes with the gift of empathy, it is crucial to focus on the ways in which you can inspire others. Perhaps you simply know your co-worker is having a rough week and you buy them lunch one day. Or you smile at someone in line to get your morning coffee. Maybe you can volunteer at a local community event.
 
One never really knows the power simply caring can have on another individual. It’s a good reminder to those who “feel” and sometimes feel helpless, that simply being yourself in this world is enough. We can all help inspire change and harmony by not only feeling deeply but by caring deeply.
 
 
 
 

This is an article my fellow co-teacher "Christine Cartwright" and I wrote about Integrative Energy therapy, published in "The Door Opener Magazine". If you're interested in learning more about IET ® check out our take on this amazing healing system. 

Do you find yourself stuck in the same situations over and over again repeating bad patterns and habits that limit your growth? Have you encountered roadblocks on your quest to discover your soul’s purpose? Would you like to gain a better understanding of your role in the world by discovering what it is that you came to do in this lifetime?  Are you interested in working with a team of healing angels and deepening your connection with the Angelic realm?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, Integrated Energy Therapy® is exactly what you are looking for.

In the late 1980’s Stephen Thayer channeled Integrated Energy Therapy® through the Angelic Realm under the guidance of the Angel Ariel. By working directly with the healing angels, Thayer co-created a system that works to help alleviate the emotional and mental imprints we store deeply within our bodies. There is a system of points across the body that are connected through energy lines called integrated channels, similar to traditional Chinese medicine points and meridian lines. Like meridians, they help to supply the body with self-regulating energy to maintain balance within all systems. Integrated Energy Therapy® (IET®) introduces the concept of cellular memory areas, connected by the integrated channels. These areas hold all of our life experiences which shape and influence who we are. The cellular memory areas identified in IET® are located in specific anatomical locations ranging from the top of the head down through the kidney area. When these memory areas are blocked, our flow of energy becomes stagnant, preventing us from achieving our optimum physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

We often live our lives guided by a pre-written script and end up repeating the same “lines” of limiting thoughts and ideas that we hold about ourselves and about the world.  These lines, or imprints, can be caused by suppressed emotions and experiences such as emotional trauma, stress, or fear which become stored in our bodies, organs, tissues and cells.  When the emotional imprints are not processed efficiently, our energy fields can come to a standstill and keep us from living and pursuing the life we want to live. The IET® system of healing is governed by nine specific healing angels who work directly with an IET® practitioner through an angelic heart-link that essentially connects the heart spaces of the therapist, the client, and the angels. By creating this heart-link, a practitioner becomes a vessel through which the angels can work directly with a client’s energy field to clear emotional imprints in the cellular memory areas. The Angelic heart-link, unique to IET®, allows the Angels to safely and efficiently release and transform these emotional imprints to support healing.  This is all done without requiring the client to relive the emotional and physical responses to the memories. We refer to this as “Healing without Feeling.”

There is a long-held belief in the spiritual community that we come into this life with specific goals and tasks to accomplish. We are provided with all the tools, talents, and support we need in our lives to achieve this, yet when we are born into the physical world, we forget what it is we came here to do. Part of our journey through life is to rediscover exactly what our true purpose is. Integrative Energy Therapy can act as a catalyst for us to reawaken to these possibilities. When receiving IET®, you energetically begin to shift the habits and patterns that keep you stuck in a limited capacity and move you in the direction of who you truly can be. Through IET® you can begin a journey on a new path to make better decisions, freeing yourself of emotional burdens and living in a way that is in alignment with your true mission in life. Integrated Energy Therapy® provides the energy and the guidance you need to help manifest your life goals and your heart’s desires.

 As massage therapists who practice IET®, we have found this technique to be an extremely valuable tool for how we view the body and assist our clients with both their physical and emotional well-being. Using IET® along with traditional massage techniques helps the client achieve a deeper level of release and relaxation. For example, many clients suffer from chronic neck and shoulder pain. While massage alone is effective in reducing the physical pain and providing temporary relief, adding IET®  helps address what is weighing down the client energetically which directly influences the physical discomfort. By working on the emotional imprints first through Integrated Energy Therapy®, the massage therapist can provide additional support and relief from trigger points, myofascial restrictions, chronic pain, and muscle tension that are exacerbated by underlying emotional issues.  Clients often feel lighter and freer both physically and emotionally when incorporating IET® into their sessions. As with traditional massage, IET® also blends beautifully with other forms of bodywork and compliments other energy modalities such as Reiki and Therapeutic Touch.

IET® Training

IET® trainings (basic, intermediate, and advance levels) are generally taught in one day classes, with each class building upon the knowledge and techniques from the previous one. One does not need to have any prior experience in energy work in order to train. Like Reiki, IET ® training consists of an attunement based initiation to work with the energy. The attunement itself expands the energy field and awakens specific chakras within our hands to facilitate IET ® healing. Along with increase healing abilities, you are specially connected to the nine healing angels of the energy field who each bring a unique quality and lesson to the work. Although these nine angels specifically work with this system, one can connect to any angel for healing and communication via the Angelic Heart-link. As you continue to work closely with the Angelic realm, your perception and understanding of these beings increases and benefits not only your healing work but also the everyday aspects of your life.

Feel free to contact myself here or Christine by visiting her webpage http://www.blueheronhealingmassage.com/  with any questions or interests. 

Blessings, 

Dan